I will start with....the birth. (because I've already typed this up for our friends in our Facebook adoption group)
We
got to Florida a day and a half before our baby's due date. We knew we
wanted to be apart of his birth and with some prayer and discernment
and encouragement from others. We decided to get there for his due date, we knew we would never regret leaving early if it meant we'd be there for his birth. After all...the only thing that would be wasted would be money and vacation time....and we can make more of both of those things!
We had lunch with our birthmom (miss J) and her mom (nanna) the next day and it was amazing! We spent time talking about everything! We ate great BBQ....I had the wings miss J had the salad bar (who's the pregnant one here?) We got a great picture together of her showing off her belly and me pointing at it with a cheesy grin.
This visit was amazing and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect meeting. I had about 5 months to get to know Miss J on the phone. We talked or texted almost daily. She is amazing! She is a hero and we love her. ( I plan to write more about this at some point) It was just as important for us to love our birth mom as it was to love our son. We did not hold back, we did not guard our hearts, we LOVED....and we loved hard!
Miss J went into labor the morning
of his due date around 6:30am, but contractions were over 30 minutes apart. We talked to Miss J around noon and contractions were still 30 minutes apart so she told us not to get to excited yet, but she wanted us to know how she was doing. I appreciated this about our birth mom. She always tried to put herself in our shoes and comfort us and keep us from having the doubt, "will she change her mind." AMAZING! She's a hero, and I will never stop saying that.
Ben and I decided we would drive around Tallahassee and see what we could do. If you've ever been correct me if I'm wrong, but it's not a very "happenin" town. We decided to go check out the children's museum. Since we were about to be parents we figured we better see what we were getting ourselves in to.
That evening around 6pm we went down to the dinning room of our hotel, where they served a light dinner and beer and sat down to have a bite to eat. We joked that we better not have any beer or we might have to ask Gigi...the manager of the hotel to drive us to the hospital if our baby decided to come tonight.
Gigi was very interested in our story as were the rest of the staff! They became our little family away from home!
Just as we started to eat we got a call from Nanna. They were at the hospital and contractions were 17 minutes apart. EEK! We left our plates sans beer and packed our
bags and headed to the hospital. We called people as we drove letting them know it was game time! Thanks to all who prayed for us during this time.
When we got to the hospital we checked in with the staff and they allowed me to go back and see Miss J. She was doing great. They had her in triage and were waiting to check her to see if they would keep her or send her back home. (There was no way I was letting them send her home)
She was finally admitted to labor and delivery and we all settled into this huge comfy room where we talked and spent some great time as family waiting for the action.
(Yes I said family....Miss J and Nanna and her boys are part of our family. Many people ask if we have an open adoption. Yes...it's open because we know each other, we've met, we know things about each other, and we love each other. That does not mean that we both parent! Our birthmom has always said from the beginning that she will be apart of our lives in the way we want. At this time...we still text...I send pictures via e-mail and let her know how Lucas is doing. We would love to spend time together again in the future but do not have plans as of late. This relationship will evolve in a way that is best for Lucas and we have all agreed on that.)
Miss J had told me from the time we were matched that she would like for me to be in the delivery room with her because she thought it was important for me to be able to bond with Lucas right away. I agreed and let her know that if she changed her mind that was ok, she just needed to tell me. Ben waited in the
waiting room with Miss J's son and they played computer games together.
Miss J was amazing! She refused any sort of pain meds or epidural. Again..HERO! I was very involved with the labor and tried to comfort her as the contractions came. I'm thankful that she allowed me to be so involved. I was able to pray over her, rub her back, and encourage her as she brought our son into this world. The Doctor asked if I would like to cut the cord, I looked at Miss J and she nodded her head yes, so I took the scissors and cut the cord. (This was a very emotional time, as it felt very symbolic to me. I was cutting the very thing that kept our son alive while Miss J carried him for 9 months.) In that moment he was our son!
I was flooded with emotions as nanna went to get Ben as I held our son for the first time. Ben came in and looked at Lucas as if he was the very thing that Ben's heart was beating for! We were in love!
I will leave you with this....I plan to write more about our hospital stay and our time with our birth mother but I think this deserves it's own blog post!
