A change of heart.

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.  
                                                                               James 1:27

Adoption has always been something I knew I wanted to do.  I loved the idea of traveling to a far away country and bringing home a child or children to raise as my own.  The key phrase here is "far away country."  I wanted to make sure there was an ocean between myself and the child's birth mother.

Even when we started down the road of adoption we looked into international adoption and domestic adoption was never an option.  I always told Ben, "I do not want to be on the same continent as our birth mother."  As I think about that now, I think, "how sad," Why would I want that?

I don't think it's bad if others have that same that, but WOW, has the Lord changed my heart.  When we felt the Lord calling us to do domestic adoption I still had a little fear about what our birth mother would be like.  Would she want to see him often, would she want to have more contact then we were comfortable, would she think she was going to help raise our son?

Then we met Miss J.  From the very beginning we knew she was special. 

Where do I start?

So...I think I started this blog while we were in the hospital with Lucas the day after he was born.  I thought to myself....Where do I start?  Obviously it's 6 weeks later and I never did figure out where to start.

I will start with....the birth. (because I've already typed this up for our friends in our Facebook adoption group)

We got to Florida a day and a half before our baby's due date. We knew we wanted to be apart of his birth and with some prayer and discernment and encouragement from others.  We decided to get there for his due date, we knew we would never regret leaving early if it meant we'd be there for his birth.   After all...the only thing that would be wasted would be money and vacation time....and we can make more of both of those things!

 

We had lunch with our birthmom (miss J) and her mom (nanna) the next day and it was amazing! We spent time talking about everything!  We ate great BBQ....I had the wings miss J had the salad bar (who's the pregnant one here?)  We got a great picture together of her showing off her belly and me pointing at it with a cheesy grin.

 

This visit was amazing and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect meeting.  I had about 5 months to get to know Miss J on the phone.  We talked or texted almost daily.  She is amazing!  She is a hero and we love her.  ( I plan to write more about this at some point)  It was just as important for us to love our birth mom as it was to love our son.   We did not hold back, we did not guard our hearts, we LOVED....and we loved hard!

 

Miss J went into labor the morning of his due date around 6:30am, but contractions were over 30 minutes apart.  We talked to Miss J around noon and contractions were still 30 minutes apart so she told us not to get to excited yet, but she wanted us to know how she was doing.  I appreciated this about our birth mom.  She always tried to put herself in our shoes and comfort us and keep us from having the doubt, "will she change her mind."  AMAZING!  She's a hero, and I will never stop saying that.  

 

Ben and I decided we would drive around Tallahassee and see what we could do.  If you've ever been correct me if I'm wrong, but it's not a very "happenin" town.  We decided to go check out the children's museum.  Since we were about to be parents we figured we better see what we were getting ourselves in to.  

 

That evening around 6pm we went down to the dinning room of our hotel, where they served a light dinner and beer and sat down to have a bite to eat.  We joked that we better not have any beer or we might have to ask Gigi...the manager of the hotel to drive us to the hospital if our baby decided to come tonight.

 

Gigi was very interested in our story as were the rest of the staff!  They became our little family away from home!

Just as we started to eat we got a call from Nanna.  They were at the hospital and contractions were 17 minutes apart.  EEK!  We left our plates sans beer and packed our bags and headed to the hospital.  We called people as we drove letting them know it was game time!  Thanks to all who prayed for us during this time.

 

When we got to the hospital we checked in with the staff and they allowed me to go back and see Miss J.  She was doing great.  They had her in triage and were waiting to check her to see if they would keep her or send her back home. (There was no way I was letting them send her home)

 

She was finally admitted to labor and delivery and we all settled into this huge comfy room where we talked and spent some great time as family waiting for the action. 

 

(Yes I said family....Miss J and Nanna and her boys are part of our family.  Many people ask if we have an open adoption.  Yes...it's open because we know each other, we've met, we know things about each other, and we love each other.  That does not mean that we both parent!  Our birthmom has always said from the beginning that she will be apart of our lives in the way we want.  At this time...we still text...I send pictures via e-mail and let her know how Lucas is doing.  We would love to spend time together again in the future but do not have plans as of late.  This relationship will evolve in a way that is best for Lucas and we have all agreed on that.) 

Miss J had told me from the time we were matched that she would like for me to be in the delivery room with her because she thought it was important for me to be able to bond with Lucas right away.  I agreed and let her know that if she changed her mind that was ok, she just needed to tell me.  Ben waited in the waiting room with Miss J's son and they played computer games together.

 

Miss J was amazing!  She refused any sort of pain meds or epidural.  Again..HERO!  I was very involved with the labor and tried to comfort her as the contractions came.  I'm thankful that she allowed me to be so involved.  I was able to pray over her, rub her back, and encourage her as she brought our son into this world.  The Doctor asked if I would like to cut the cord, I looked at Miss J and she nodded her head yes, so I took the scissors and cut the cord.  (This was a very emotional time, as it felt very symbolic to me.  I was cutting the very thing that kept our son alive while Miss J carried him for 9 months.)  In that moment he was our son! 

I was flooded with emotions as nanna went to get Ben as I held our son for the first time.  Ben came in and looked at Lucas as if he was the very thing that Ben's heart was beating for!  We were in love!  

I will leave you with this....I plan to write more about our hospital stay and our time with our birth mother but I think this deserves it's own blog post!

8 days........

Our baby boy is due in 8 days.....every time I say it I get a little freaked out and a burst of electricity runs through my body because I can hardly wait!

We've been on this journey for 4 years now.  A journey of heartache, sadness, grief, and most recently a journey that has taught Ben and I how to love better.  This journey has strengthened our marriage, has made us go deeper in friendships, and has made us rely on God more than ever.  He says he will give us the desires of our heart.  Sometimes it's just not the way we expect.

When we found out we have fertility issues we prayed.  We asked others to pray with us, for a miracle.  We asked that the Lord give us a child, a child that I would carry.  A biological child. 
I think back to that time.  A time where we cried, we pleaded with the Lord, and he answered.  We always new we would have a child, we heard the Lord tell us this.

We could never imagine that he would choose us for the most amazing journey of our lives.  He would choose us to get to love on an amazing woman who chose life.  A woman who made a selfless decision to carry our son.  To give us the greatest gift we could ever imagine.  Thank You Lord!

This is going to be the longest 8 days of our lives.  As we wait for our son to be born.  We are enjoying every last minute as just Ben and I, but we are also ready to become a family of 4. (can't leave out Molly)  We are ready to bring our son home and become parents.

We will be going to Florida to pick up our son and stay there until all of the legal papers are filed.  Please pray for our time in Florida, our time with our birth mother, and our time with our son as we become parents for the first time.

 It's a wild ride.....some times you just have put your arms in the air, laugh, and enjoy the roller coaster!

AND THE WINNER IS

Our Raffle ended yesterday and our friend Jonathan ( founds of Perception Funding) and his team did the drawing. You guys rock!!!

Here is the result http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km6hxxpHX9k


Thank You to everyone who participated! We were able to raise $2,000 to help with our legal fees! You all are such a blessing to us!

We still need $7,200 left to raise which is amazing since our fees were $40,000! GO GOD!

We are still taking donations ( they are tax deductible) and we still have lots of amazing Shirts!

http://www.perceptionfunding.org/Perceptionfunding/The_Garbers.html

We are beyond blessed! We cannot thank you all enough.

Kindle Fire giveaway!

Tomorrow is the drawing for the Kindle Fire......Ticket are 1/2 price...you can get 20 tickets for 20 bucks! All proceeds go towards bringing home baby Garber!

We also have T-shirts....we're hoping to sell 15 more today so we can get them ordered tomorrow and have them sent out next week. Spread the word, and help us reach our goals!

Our Legal fees are due 1 month from today....God is Big....we can do it!

Less Than a month!

In less than a month we have to have ALL of the money to finalize our adoption! We are almost there folks! We are about $5,000 short, which is chump change to God.

I know some people think, "if you can't afford adoption costs how will you afford a child?" This statement hurts a bit. Most of us do not go to a car dealership and pay cash and walk, or ride rather off the lot with a brand new BMW. We take out a loan, or trade in our old car.

Well...since we don't have a child to trade in, like we would do that anyway.....and we know the Lord has picked out this specific little boy for our family we are asking you for help! Help us bring home our boy. You can buy a bracelet, a t-shirt, raffle tickets, or donate to one of our matching grants!

We still have our fingers crossed that one of the HUGE grants we've applied for will come through.

We are praying and hoping that each of you will share our story with others and maybe they'd want to be a part of something life changing.

When are boy is home....this passion of ours will not stop! We want to help others bring home their child as well. If we raise more than enough money we are going to donate the funds to another family just like ours that is hoping, waiting, and praying for their baby to come home.


Check this out for way to give
http://www.perceptionfunding.org/Perceptionfunding/The_Garbers.html

My 2 cents

I've been thinking about this a lot lately....I thought I would share my thoughts.
We are called to adopt by our Father. We are called to father/mother the fatherless. Is it for the sake of the fatherless, or is it for us?

We are giving children a family and a home who might not otherwise have that. Sometimes people say, "that child is so lucky to have you."

Adoption has been a wild ride and I'm not sure we ever get to get off the ride. I'm not sure I would if I could at this point. Although it is hard, and I mean REALLY hard sometimes, it has changed me! It has made me a better person! I'm thankful that the Lord has chosen us to adopt!

We are lucky! I think everyone should try this at least once! Maybe I'm crazy...and I think you have to be sometimes....but adoption is a blessing to those who are adopting

We are not doing this because we have to....we're doing this because the Lord has told us we "get to" do this.